school children are flocking to the cinema tomorrow morning to catch the best 7.50 movies that office workers can never catch. School children are thronging down orchard road marine parade tampines mall parco bugis jurong point bukit panjang plaza to peer through glass windows and stare at mannequins dressed in all the nice colours of red yellow Green blue Purple. Isnt it fun to be a school-going person?

I can even hear dean jumping for joy in the background

Sometimes, office workers can relive their childhood, escape from work and take one of those MY PRECIOUS leaves.
i have 9 days of leave left. im saving it to get married.

next week heralds the begining of june. June was a fun time just a year ago. I think i have aged.... a lot
i dont really enjoy the things that i previously loved to do
I dont enjoy eating as much as i used to do. I am more concerned about my diet nowadays
I dont rush around so much as i used to, thinking that time is so precious. I can sit around in deep thought for hours
I realized that I am not as sporty as what i used to be
I dont spend so much time online
I would prefer to read a book
Religion was never an issue
I go to church occasionally

I feel like a thick book torn and crumpled at the covers and back pages. The binding however, is still strong and holds the pages firmly together
That is me,
how i think and talk and smell and taste and perceive and view and dream and endeavour and want and decide

posted by iambrianfu [ 11:24 PM ] |

Name: Fu Ruming Brian
Date of Birth: 08-JUN-86
Email: iambrianfu@hotmail.com

You have been awarded the NANYANG SCHOLARSHIP to pursue your undergraduate course in BUSINESS, at Nanyang Technological University for Academic Year 2007-08 subject to your being offered BUSINESS course.

The value of the scholarship shall cover the following:


Tuition fee directly payable by students (after Tuition Grant)

Living allowance of $5,000 per academic year

The Scholarship is awarded to you under the following terms and conditions:

The Scholarship may be withdrawn at any time if, in the opinion of the University, your progress or behaviour has not been satisfactory.
You may not, without the approval of the President, hold concurrently any other award.
You are required to stay for at least one year in your hall of residence during your course of study and participate in university campus life.
You are required to take on the role of student ambassador, or any other similar role, representing the university to give publicity talks, to receive guests, etc, as and when you are called upon.


You should inform us by Wednesday, 18 May 2005 on whether you wish to take the Scholarship by choosing one of the options below and click the Confirm button

****************************

If someone was in my position, he'd say "GOD is Unfair!"
To me, god is fair and he makes his decision knowing that it's the best for me. God is all-knowing and there are things we mere mortals never will understand. I am deeply puzzled, but i'll follow god's grace...
I applied for many a scholarships. All abroad. No local scholarships. One might think that i just wanna take the opportunity to use the monehy from the scholarship to go abroad. I do not disagree. However, i would go overseas even if i dont get a scholarship. Im already prepared for that. Im going to live the American dream ! Not the conventional singapore lifestyle. where we go slogging,work hard, work for fifteen years. buy a house, a car, upgrade, have kids. and then... retire. I dont wanna study in Singapore anyway. I see an undergrad education as a cobbled path to another dimension. a different lifestyle from the present. thats what it's all about! breaking the status quo!

None of the agencies got back to me. i dont know what's up with them this year? is it the timing or what? i applied close to closure date. i got 4As and A1 in Gp. even a merit in Economics. Why no replies? did they hedge the benchmak at 4As and at least a distinction?? how possible? did i just miss getting those interviews by a bit? if it was, why did i get so close in the first place? why agonize me to this very extent? the feeling of almost getting there and then left with nothing is really horrible. God.. didnt i work hard for it. the exams. you blessed me with good grades. i was praying for it the night before. yet you stopped there. you dont want me to get an overseas scholarship.
and then i was offered the nanyang scholarship. i didnt even apply for it at first! they called/emailed me to go for the interview. so i was thinking.. heh. half day off work. why not? and now. i got the only scholarship i got from the only interview i went. whats that? am i supposed to be impressed or what? hundred percent acceptance.
my other friend had her whole life planned out. she was going to pharmacy at nus. then dsta told her it'd offer her electronic engineering in the US. so she's changing her mind and she doesnt even know if thats what she wants.

one thing's for sure. god plans for the good of us. we wont understand till we reach the end of times. Maybe he doesnt want me to get bonded. he knows there are better opportunities for me when i come back from States.

posted by iambrianfu [ 2:38 PM ] |

title: my favourite second-type is ha ri su.
i wanna post one of her semi naked pictures here but i forgot how to.

what's with the long weekends again. before i start blowing bucks away on weekends, i need to manage my WeekEnd cashflow.
but given that i have stores of tuition revenue that may soon contribute to a 4 figure income, that is not the main concern here.

*****************************
however,
two days and ive examined a little of my thoughts. the kind of things i start to think about when i lay on my bed at night on those rare occasions finding that i have not IMMEDIATELY fallen asleep (which has been very uncommon in 2005). those sort of nights where i toss to one side to scratch my calves cuz a mosquito has stung it and the air con has been down for half a year and we dont use medieval mosquito coils nor hi tech electric powered light emitting mosquito killer.

Saturday:
I went to NUS early in the morning for the Law interview. i dont know when i started to take an interest in law. but it has not been the case since i was in primary school. that was about 8 years ago when i wrote my ambition of being a lawyer and other endeavours in an envelope. i was a primary school boy with my khaki temasek primary school uniform adn the moto 'forward together temasek'. i was visiting the science centre or some museum. we were doing an activity about archaelogical components that excavators dig from the ground. i remembered that one indian boy wanted to find dinosaur bones. anyway, i was supposed to create an artifact and hide it in my house so that i could open it 20 or 30 years later. i painted my palm with blue ink and laid an imprint on the other side of the envelope. i glued the envelope tightly with UHU glue and sealed it. i wrote on it ' to be opened in 2010 or 2020 or 2030'

when i shifted house, i never found it. i think it was lost in one of the boxes.

walking towards the C J Koh building at NUS re-enacted that innocent scene in my mind. it felt both strange and thrilling. it lasted a while. then, i was phlegmatic and apathetic.
i guess my only justification for applying for law is the fact that i like to mix with people who are outspoken and who think that they are very coercive. i think they are funny people. I have no interest in law at all.

I looked at the question about some Registrar and Criminal Code and 53 years old Japanese men and sex offences.
It was boring. Not my type.
My pen was starting to run out of ink.
No ink came out at the last 15minutes.
i was sitting there looking at law students
i started counting the words
it was dull and untidy

***************
Saturday evening:
title: watching soccer, gambling and sleeping

I was at James house watching soccer. Actually i dont watch soccer anymore. i play soccer on wednesdays. i only watch goals, not soccer. the game and thrill is past my age.

about gambling. the feeling of flipping up mahjong tiles through a Saturday night and on a sunday morning with a bunch of old friends is nondescribable. it is not a complicated feeling which is the type commonplace in our hearts everyday. the Complicated feeling is a weekday feeling, always present, whether we are schooling, or working. the Simple feeling is just simple joy and enjoying the moment. **
gambling reminds me about ills.
ills include drinking and fags and stray fingers at clubs. dark places. spinning lights and rancid alcohol mix.
i wasnt really enjoying myself the past two weekends. just hanging around and jiggling bodies behind girls with silhouetted faces. its always the same. i only enjoy guarding girls - puffing smoke into predatory guys around pretty girls. no longer vodka 'by the bottle' too. im also past the age. i have become very apathetic these few months. i dont see the fun and thrill any more. maybe i shouldnt go so often next time.

Sunday:
I am really upset having missed church for the third consecutive week. what's this? testing my faith ah??
i thought i could get myself there by setting appointments. I couldnt wake up in the end.
One of my closest friend's birthday. My hongkee friend's bday. lap's 21st. yay! now i can steal albert's IC and have someone to watch RA shows with.

was at jack's place eating not so palatable food. it wasnt very tasty. then, they started playing the bday song. and then came the cake. quite cool...

posted by iambrianfu [ 2:45 AM ] |